– Eugène Delacroix, “Mortally Wounded Brigand Quenches His Thirst,” ca. 1825
A blind man with his knife in hand
Has convinced himself that he understands
I wish him well, Miss Carousel
But I gotta be a-goin’
– Townes Van Zandt, “Fare Thee Well, Miss Carousel”
Good morning everyone.
As the forgiveness of another fallow year tides the earth with breath and hope, I stand here, once again, to offer some parting words.
Bukowski once said it’s not the large things that send a man to the madhouse, but a continuing series of small tragedies. That is true. But just as soft failures are hard lessons, so too do the large tragedies sweep us off our feet – in humility and golden abdication.
Tragedy has a way of framing things, of putting things into perspective. Two recent tragedies in my life helped accomplish that aim. What is the frame and what are we looking at, you ask? The frame is cruelty, churlish infighting, one misstep and misdeed after another; senseless squabbling, real-world violence, a lack of concern for one’s fellow man; the frame is closeted hatred, resentment, and arrogance, a longing to be recognized with none of the required talent; resistance, stupidity, brutality, racism, antisemitism; a lack of judgment, foresight, ability, education, culture, and manners, guided by years of miscalculated action; most of all the frame is ugly, callous, and closer to a social cancer than a disease – rotten, aniconic, baleful, and noxious, surrounded by a gaggle of grown adults who can barely master their own bathroom, let alone the universe.
And what is being framed? What are we looking at? We are looking at the o9a.
We’ve all been told that all this gold is worth so much that it can’t be sold; but it can. And I’m here to say that I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of the unkindness, the lack of support and encouragement for one another, the petty obstinacy, the prejudice, the meaningless competition and vying for power. And for what? To be lumped in with a roving mob of blindfolded criminals, garroting and patrooning their way to a series of meaningless ends at the expense of real-world lives, hearts, and homes? No. It’s not a disgrace. It’s a defeat, cold and neverending.
I didn’t get into this to harm other people or sanction activities, principles, and amoral behaviors that go against my core values and upbringing. I was raised to help others, to inspire, to help bring out the best in one another, to educate, to forgive, and most of all to spread love through simple acts of kindness. I have always tried to bring that into the o9a – my passion for learning, for wisdom, for truth, my drive toward excellence, my desire to help others reach their highest potential. I found these values to be consistent with the highest zenith of Satanism and the cathartic overcoming of the tragedy it sets in motion across our lives, just as I did in those whom I view to have exceeded its limitations. I still hold this to be true. O felix culpa.
I haven’t found that in the o9a. Through a series of difficult lessons, I’ve slowly come to realize that the beauty, value, and deep interior majesty of this tradition isn’t a tradition at all, but my own spirit, laid bare across my life. Failing to separate the most profound and traumatic experiences of my life – experiences which, in relation to the o9a, almost cost me my life on several occasions and ended the lives of several loved ones – from what the o9a actually is, where it comes from, and where it’s likely heading, I have up to this point made the mistake of investing my heart, mind, and soul into something that is not equipped to receive or sustain them.
I do not belong here. The reality of the situation is that there are good people in the o9a: people who have shown me kindness and understanding, who have heard the truth of my story, identified with it, seen its cruel and fallible destination as something noble and absolute. I have seen the same in them, in their stories, in the life lessons they have shared with me, and in their unconditional generosity. There are people here I love as my own. For many years, I admired and was favorably influenced by some of the writings of figures like Myatt, Long, et al. But there are points of major disagreement in others that I can’t in good faith abide by (National Socialism being a big one, which I’ve adamantly declared I do not support or agree with – and I mean that). I can’t continue this legacy; it’s time to start my own.
So what is the price of this gold that can’t be sold? A sword, a wish, a hope, a word: conspectus. It’s time for me to leave the nest. I’ve realized that the Seven Oxonions were right: I have everything I need to direct the cataract of my life into my own system, my own philosophy, my own canvas of originary creation, and I always have. I’ve been building it all along. The pain of the past does not need to be a monument to the future anymore than the o9a ever needed to be its epitaph.
We hear the word “honor” a lot in the o9a. Indeed, the bonds of loyalty that bind self-integrity to one’s word are a keystone of decorum and civility. But I think something equally important is overlooked here: responsibility. Whether we like it or not, the things we say and do have consequences in the real world. I can’t stand idly by and watch others draw inspiration from my work to justify harm, prejudice, racism, or ill-will toward other people. I never intended that, and I won’t contribute to it. I don’t know how anyone can do so in good conscience.
That’s it. I’ve said what I needed to say. What’s left now? Who knows – but to contradict what I said previously, I think the Seven Oxonions may be right: that the o9a should be abandoned; that “its moral defects render it unsuitable as a modern practical guide to Lapis Philosophicus.” While I still see value in certain formal elements of its magickal system, which I may continue to develop in my own way (esoteric chant, for instance), I find myself in agreement with this sentiment.
If anyone wants to follow my progress, you can find me at Lux Lycaonis. From here on out, I am abandoning Fenrir: Journal of Satanism and the Sinister and will slowly be rebranding the site to reflect that. From now on Lux Lycaonis will simply be Lux Lycaonis, an outlet for the philosophical, cultural, artistic, intellectual, musical, and magickal things I find valuable, in addition to those of my team.
Posted: November 28th, 2022 | Author:Chloe352 | Filed under:Gone Fishing | Comments Off on One Last Problem
.:.So now, there is one final problem in ONA that needs to be fixed, that Problem is: Me.
I’m a very honest person, with myself [self-honesty] and with others. I mean what I say. “Let your yes mean yes, and no mean no,” as Christ said. When I say that I believe and only recognize a leaderless ONA: I mean it. No one, certainly not me, should be any kind of leader [official, appointed, de facto, facto, symbolic, etc] of ONA, in ONA.
I’m not a dummie: I’m very observant, especially with ONA. I’ve been around ONA since 2006-2007, and so, like a street or section of a city, ONA is my Turf: like how a gang of people claim a street or section as their Turf. This ONA is Our Dreccian Turf, it’s our shit, Cosa Nostra as the Italians say it [Cosa means “Thing,” and “Nostra” means “Our”]. And in this Dreccian Turf which is the ONA: I know who comes and goes, I know who’s who, and so on.
Since 2008, what I have interestingly observed is that whenever a person or group of people come to ONA to try to “take it over” I have never seen them plan and say to themselves: “We need to get rid of that pesky Anton Long in order to take over ONA…” or “We need to get rid of those pesky Old Guards so we can take over ONA!” It’s always been: “Chloe needs to go…” or “We need to get rid of her somehow so we can rule ONA!” And they all play power games with me.
There was even a time, many years ago, on the 600 Club, where that, in order to make their claim of Outer Rep legit, the ToB pretended to be me and wrote out a short thing saying that I endorse and support Jall as Outer Rep. And there are a few people who say things like: “Chloe made me the leader…” or “Chloe made me the new outer rep…” or “I had a conversation with Chloe and she subtly hinted to me that I’m the new leader because she said I was handsome and smart!” How come nobody ever says: “Anton Long made me the new leader…” or “The Old Guards made me the new Outer Rep.”
And so, when I said that other’s in ONA should take ONA, and run with it: I mean it. But, as I have observed over the years: I am a big problem.
When I left ONA early this year, I read a comment made by a ONA associate who said, paraphrased: “It’s good that Chloe has left, because it gives us a voice.” I can’t recall the exact things she said: but I honestly agreed with her sentiments, and understood what she was trying to say.
What I have seen is that when I leave ONA, lots of people come into ONA and they start writing and producing shit. Which I think is very cool. I come back and there’s all this activity and new thoughts and insights to read and learn from. And then when I come back: everyone scatters.
My presence in ONA just seems to drown everyone. I understand and see that now as a very big problem with future negative consequences.
I just came back because I felt guilty for abandoning the Spirit/Egregore of ONA during a time when it needed help struggling against some environmental conditions. The ONA seems fine now. It doesn’t need me anymore. I’ve said all I need to say, and my last bit of insight was given in the previous essay [The Evolving ONA]. And importantly to me: I’ve made my Peace with ONA. And so, I fix the last problem: and take my leave. I’m going to leave the online ONA world to go live my life in the Real World: because by next year I will have my own little family. And I will take my ONA with me: I will be a Rounwytha in the real world.
SHOUT OUTS
.:.Some shout outs to a few significant peeps:
Brett: You’re cool people. You’re writings are an inspiration.
OGs: Thank you for those many years of allowing me to make little alterations here and there in ONA, and for encouraging me to be myself [a Buddhist and so on]
Beast Xeno: I told you a very long a time, long ago, when you first began making youtube videos that you were handsome, and I meant it! Take care my friend!
Jason King: Andales pues mi Compa! You are by far: the most intelligent Satanist I have thus far met, since 2003. I never told you this: but your mind and person has had and will have a huge influence on me.
David Myatt: I am who I am today because of your thoughts and writings; I speak of all of them.
The Egregore of ONA: Te quiero mucho, mi amigo. Buena Noche, por que todo es cheche bacheche pa ti. Nzambi.
.:.”What does not kill, makes stronger.” –21 Satanic Points, Black Book of Satan, ONA
I’ve been around Satanism for a very long time. I like watching online Satanists. Since they had little fancy Satanic groups on MySpace and MySatan, most of those dummies attempted to “evolve” Satanism. Unfortunately, what they understand of evolution was learned from high school science class, in which class one can only assume they paid very little attention.
Those dummie Satanists on MySpace and MySatan usually, nearly 99% of the time, used the same exact equation/formula to “evolve” Satanism. The formula looks like this: Evolve Satanism = Make Better. And in practice, 100% of the time, the variable “Make Better” ends up meaning: “My Ideas.” In other words, what they believe is: “My ideas will make Satanism better, thus evolving it.”
That line of reasoning regarding how shit evolves is like saying: “Evolution is when God/Nature makes things better.” As if to suggest, using that same line of thinking, that Mother Nature one day had a great idea and she put webbed feet on a dinosaur and a billed beak, and came up with a duck.
The main problem with their dummie notion of evolution is that an idea, no matter how great such idea sounds and seems: is Conjectural. Conjectural in practice means that the idea has not yet been tested, that such idea has not yet produced “proof of concept,” that such idea has not yet made Fruit which you can judge. In other words, you have no idea what end results [cause and effect] your conjectured idea will actually produce.
And so, I’ve watched those dummies come into Satanism, with big titles, try to make Satanism better, by adding to Satanism their own “great” ideas: [re: their own opinions, beliefs, views, sentiments, “philosophy”]. And 100% of the time, even if on the rare occasion they even publish self-published books on Amazon or Lulu: they fail.
DEVELOPMENTAL EVOLUTION
In reality, in the Real World of Nature, developmental evolution happens in the matrix of an environment/ecosystem. Fractally: our own human species’ development from the primitive homo sapiens we were 300,000 years ago to the human beings we are today exclusively happened within the matrix of an environment we call “Civilization” [re: “society”].
And so, the universal principle of physical development/evolution is governed by two main factors that exists in a state of “tension” with each other. The first factor is that – as the Buddha taught – all things change and nothing is permanent. This means that the environment changes and its conditions/state is never the same. The second factor – by law of Nature – is that all living organisms have the instinctive impulse of self-preservation. And so, when those two factors are at play with each other, there arises a “tension,” a pushing and pulling of those two main factors.
And so, that “tension” looks like this: 1) An organism adjusts to its environment, 2) the environment changes, 3) the change in environment is an Challenging or Adversarial condition to the organism because that organism adjusted to the previous condition of the said environment, 4) the organism must try to adjust itself to the Challenging/Adversarial [the Force of Satan] condition, or die, 5) if the organism succeeds in adjusting itself to such new conditions it Survives, 6) but survivability is not the want or desire of Mother Nature, 7) Mother Nature needs Thrivability, 8) if an organism adjusts/adapts to such new conditions, survives, but also Thrives in that new condition: 9) then that organism’s genes drift, which incrementally produces new species genetically pre-programmed to function well in such new conditions of such changes in the matrical environment.
But you have to learn to view that process of developmental evolution not on a macrophysical level, but on a microphysical level. Why? Because the Reality [re: Realism] is that when we say “organism/creature” what we mean is a Complex System of Trillions of Cells [Cuz that’s what a fucking “multicellular” organism is]. In other words: the cells themselves, as well as the molecules and biochemicals, are what reacts and adjusts to environmental cues/pressures. A real example is when a human lives in a place like subsahara Africa for many epochs where ultraviolet radiation is high. And so the cells of the skin, the molecules in and around such skin cells, and the biochemicals and proteins, produce dark pigmentation to protect themselves from said high ultraviolet radiation. And we interpret those microphysical adaptations to be Negros developing dark skin to protect themselves from the light and heat of Africa. What should be noted is that such Negroes were not consciously aware or in control of the darkening of their own skin! When ducks became ducks: they were not consciously aware or in control of the webbing of their own feet. As you develop from a zygote to a fetus into a new born infant: you were not conscious or in control of that process. Simply because that process of fetal development is happening on a cellular and molecular level.
MEMPLEX EVOLUTION
A “meme” is to a memeplex what a “gene” is to a genome, what a “lexeme” is to a lexicon, what an “episteme” is to epistemology. Developmental evolution is a fractal pattern that governs all physical things in the universe. Everything which exists, gradually/incrementally develops over time because of its environmental conditions. That word “environment” is a Relative term. The matrical environment of a planet and the matrical environment of an atom are not the same things. For an atom, their environment mostly consists of Fields, Charges [electric and magnetic], force of attraction, etc. And so, when conditions in their atomic environment changes, they also change, accordingly. In that way, very gradually, carbon atoms, evolved into the many different carbon based molecules in the universe, which all carbon based things [like us] are made of.
Evolution is a fractal phenomenon, which can be seen in how languages evolve. Languages evolve/develop slowly/incrementally over Time, on a microphysical level: meaning the lexemes of the language’s lexicon alters, changes, adjusts, adapts, new lexemes are acquired from other languages [called “Horizontal Gene Transference” in biological sciences]. And so, in Reality, organismic evolution is the change or alteration or adjustment of genes and/or the acquisition of new genetic information via horizontal gene transfer; the change being influenced by conditions of environment.
In the same way, a memeplex evolves over time. Like how organisms have their own matrical environment, and like how language has its own matrical environment, a memeplex has its own environment. The Matrix of a Meme is made up of two overlapping things: 1) Socialscape & 2) Mindscape. Like how Landscape is the environment of animals/creatures/organisms; and how “cosmicscape” is the environment of planets, moons, galaxies, and stars.
By “socialscape” is meant “human society,” and the views, opinions, cultures, practices, people [and so also: races and ethnicities], nations, religions, etc, of a given human society. By “mindscape” is meant ideas, notions, concepts, beliefs, weltanschauungen, language, knowledge-base, sentiments in a person’s mind and in the collective public mind of a people of a given society.
Like how Landscape changes, the socialscape and mindscape of a Memeplex also changes and is never permanently the same. For example: the socialscape and mindscape here in America of the 50s and 70s were very different from each other, where conditions in the socialscape and mindscape of the 70s were challenging and adversarial to that of the 50s.
Like how an organism must adapt to the change in conditions of its environment: a Memeplex – if it desires to survive and even thrive – must adapt to the changes of its socialscape and mindscape matrix, and must survive Challenging and Adversarial forces in such environment that presents itself.
I will give three very brief examples of familiar memeplexes that have evolved to meet the changes in the socialscape and mindscape of Western Social Order. The first is Christianity. There was a time when Christianity was very doctrinally vocal about homosexuality being a damnable sin. Today, gay couples can be married by priests, gay people can join churches, and gay people can even be priests [of some denominations]. The second example is the dominating and ubiquity of Science/Scientism: all ancient religions today, from Buddhism to Christianity to Islam have changed where they have re-interpreted their doctrines and teachings to reflect what science teaches, where even the ancient Catholic Church acknowledges the theory of evolution. The third example is the ideology of Communism/Marxism: today that memeplex in the West has evolved to not be an ideology regarding the struggle of Class, but the struggle of Race [Wokism].
A memeplex must evolve to changes in conditions, pressures, of its Matrix [socialscape and mindscape] or it will die. Death for a memeplex is when the memeplex becomes irrelevant, when it goes away with an older generation and is forgotten by the new generation, when it loses cells/membership, and it atrophies. I can name a few dead memeplexes, as examples: 1) There was once a little memeplex called “Pet Rocks” which flourished in the 70s and 80s and today nobody keeps pet rocks; 2) Tamaguchi; 3) Pogs; 4) Diet fads nobody uses or remembers anymore, 5) TM [Transcendental Mediation], 6) Th British Empire, & 7) Forgotten conlangs from 100 years ago nobody can name or speak or cares about.
THE EVOLUTION OF ONA
And so, in the same way, as a memeplex, ONA evolves. We, ignorantly think or believe that ONA evolves when we add new texts and new ideas to ONA to make it better and cooler, to make it more attractive, more evil, or hardcore, more intellectual, or whatever. As if the monstrosity of the ONA Corpus [5000 pages] needs more pages and texts of conjectural ideas that look great and awesome in writing and on blogs.
Like any living organism [to which we are its cells] the ONA develops slowly and incrementally over Time when conditions in its matrix [its socialscape and mindscape] changes and/or when Challenging/Adversarial factors present themselves as environmental pressures. Most people don’t understand the concept of Developmental Evolution as it happens in the Real Natural World, and so when they look at ONA over the years, they don’t see evolution: they don’t recognize what they are looking at.
One real example of an environmental pressure in ONA’s matrix was the “Blackwood Problem,” which was a Challenging condition where people claimed to be ONA’s grandmaster, leader. In order to adapt to that Challenging condition, the ONA had to change somehow – anyhow – in order to survive. It was successful at adapting to that environmental pressure, and ONA actually ended up Thriving for a decade.
Like the evolution of organisms: when we talk about ONA evolving, what we really mean to speak of are the changes that happen on a microphysical level: the level of individual memes, or individual cells [ONA associates]. And so, on a Microphysical level, the Adaptations of ONA back then to the said Challenging environmental factor looks like this: 1) Memes had to be altered slightly where ideas and texts change, 2) People associated with ONA who wanted ONA to be led by a leader gradually atrophied [they left], 3) People who liked ONA and liked the idea that ONA should be leaderless came to join ONA: and so, as Time passed, the ONA “changed” where it became a leaderless subculture. The reality is that when we say “ONA” what we mean to speak of are the people associated with ONA, because ONA is not an object proper that you can point at or touch. Those people who wanted leaders simply got replaced by people who did not need or like leaders.
Just like how each day your own skin cells die off and are replaced by new skin cells. Just like how a football team of 30 years ago compared to the same football team today, with the same name and logos, have had its football players replaced by new ones. Just like how your own mind of a childhood self had its knowledge, ideas, views, opinions, replaced by new ones. Like the Buddha said: all Things in this physical universe are Aggregate Beings/Phenomena: the key concept is “Aggregation.” An aggregate entity changes by having its aggregate units replaced: and we call that process of replacement “Evolution.” This is exactly how Mother Nature herself has been continuously in physical existence and Evolving for 4.5 Billion years. It is Fractally how this entire universe/cosmos itself has been in continuous existence and evolution. An aggregate entity dies/decays when it can no longer aggregate/accrete new units/parts to replace its old ones. In the same exact way, by the same Fractal Principle: a Nation/Civilization develops and evolves and continuously exists for hundreds even thousands of years.
THE GIFT OF SATAN
Satan as it is spoken about in ONA MSS is the Challenging raw Force of Nature. Satan is the causal Seed of evolution itself. It is a blessing in disguise when Challenging and Adversarial conditions and factors present themselves in ONA’s environment [its socialscape and mindscape]. And so, understood in this Luciferian [a nod to The Lucifer Principle] Light: the recent Challenging and Adversarial factors ONA had recently met up with is a Satanic Blessing: I speak of agents infiltrating ONA, things agent provocateurs did in ONA. Why are they blessings? Because ONA should learn to adapt to such adverse and challenging factors or die: and if it doesn’t die, it will become stronger. What does not kill us makes us stronger. And the recent challenging events did not kill ONA. ONA quickly adapted to the change in its environment. Like The Borg quickly adapts to a phaser gun: you might be able to shoot the Borg once or twice, but they adapt and become stronger.
But that adaptation, on a microphysical level is and will be a gradual process of where many ONA people who don’t like boundaries and ethics will atrophy away, and new people who possess noble ethos/wyrd will gradually be drawn to ONA. The new replaces the old. It’s how everything in this universe evolves. It’s how ONA evolves. And, if you understand the essence of this essay: you will have what you need to work on the process of evolving Satanism.
How do you Fish for men? With nets made of memes. Every word we speak and write, every story we tell, every myth and mythos, are like fibers that entwine to make a fishnet which attracts a certain type and kind of fish: and so it’s necessary to know what type of fish you want [to whom do you speak / who or what is your audience / who was Christ speaking to when he spoke], in order to make the proper nets. As genes dictate and build the proteins, memes dictate and build the Aura. As proteins organize to become cells so the Aura of ONA collects types and kinds of people. And evolution is the process of an aggregate entity continuously replacing its aggregate units, in tandem to the constant changes in its matrical environment, in order to not only struggle to survive such changes, but to Thrive, wyrd willing.
Back in Cali, an older regular customer of mine who was Vietnamese often complained about a subject matter most White people have never even heard of. The Vietnamese man complained about how the Chinese were engaged in what he called “Under The Table Imperialism.” How he explained what under the table imperialism was, wasn’t exactly what we in the West understand by the word “imperialism.”
The Vietnamese man complained that China sends hundreds of students into Vietnam to go to colleges there, and sends Chinese women into Vietnam to marry Vietnamese men. The end goal is to procreate halflings [children who are half Chinese and half Vietnamese]. The Vietnamese guy complained that such halflings would grow to identify as Chinese and be loyal to China and Chinese culture, thus: 1) slowly breeding the Vietnamese race out of existence, 2) gradually infiltrate Vietnam with loyalists [the halflings], & 3) gradually gain more control of Vietnam with each progressing generation.
As a White person, you might be able to dismiss that Vietnamese man’s complaints as some kind of bitter animosity or even racism against the Chinese, being that, in your White America, no such under the table imperialism seems to be happening.
But that pattern repeats: China has been not only doing the same thing in Tibet with the Tibetan people, but also with the Uyghurs in northern China. The end aim is to gradually breed those races into genocidal extinction.
If you are clever and pay careful attention to how China performs its game of racial genocide you will see the number of causal steps they use.
The first causal step is to impede and attack the culture of the target race. You can see this in the case of Tibet, where China antagonizes the Dalai Lama, doesn’t allow Tibetans to pick his successor, flood the youth of Tibet with Chinese culture.
Why this first step? Because old people die and the young people take the place of those old people: thus, with each new generation, you destroy more and more of that race’s culture and traditions.
Culture is the primeval social glue which holds a folk/ethnicity/race together, as a coherent racial entity. When you destroy that culture, the target ethnic race becomes weak, loses its ethnic/racial identity, and begins to dissolve.
The second step is to give [or force unto] such target race state sanctioned ideology and superficial idiotic substitutes for their destroyed culture and traditions. In place of Traditional Tibetan Buddhism, you give to those Tibetans secularism, materialism, and ideological communism. In place of that destroyed Tibetan culture you give them idiotic substitutes such as Chinese pop music, Chinese fashion, Chinese TV shows, Chinese supermodels, Chinese movie stars, etc.
The third step is to use finance and the economy to divide the Family Unit. Meaning that not only do you attack their culture, but you divide them by attacking their family unit [divide & conquer]. Make both parents need to go to work 40-50 hours a week, 8-10 hours a day. That makes it so that the children of such undesirable races are then raised and reared by the Chinese State. Make it cool to want to chase after money and material goods and material comfort [i.e: make individualism and the desires of the individual into a religion]: which causes young people in that undesirable race to not desire to have children, since having a child costs too much money, which money you can spend instead on cool things for yourself. No children: no future population for that undesirable race.
The fourth and overt step is to constantly antagonize their race, to attack them, and make them believe that something is wrong with their race. It’s called “dehumanization.” We dehumanize a people in order to make it more emotionally acceptable to then abuse and mistreat them.
If you can see those steps China is using to commit racial genocide: you as a White American will see the same steps being used by the Left against your own White race.
You no longer have a Culture. Being White and being proud of your Culture makes you a “racist.” You no longer have any Tradition, besides the superficial idiotic substitute traditions that they have given to you: Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Amazon Thursday, Facebook Saturday, Apple Wednesday, TikTok Tuesday, Instagram Sunday.
You no longer have any semblance of Traditional Religion. In the place of Traditional Religion you are given Scientism, Materialism, Secularism, Individualism, Egalitarianism, LGBTQETC rights, Shemale rights, transvestite rights, genital mutilation rights [telling children they are transgender and can get gender re-assignment surgery to “correct” shit].
You no longer have any meaningful semblance of family. Look at the divorce rate, and the number of people who who desire to not get married. Look at the single parent households. Look at how, since the passing/death of the 1950s [the last Great American Era] you kick your kids out of the house when they are 18 and they kick you into a nursing home when you are old. The destruction of White people’s Family unit and family value is an epidemic in White city-folk. Things are actually different in the rural countryside. A simple interesting example: out here where I live, about 10 miles from here, there is a vast field/land of about several hundred acres entirely owned by one family, and on this land, 90% of the houses are owned by members of this single White family [they live in those houses].
They flood America with third world races, who out breed White people, who all vote Left, who will gradually procreate with Liberal young White people to make future generations of halflings.
You White city people are very ignorant about what is happening and being done to your race.
.:.Maybe vacillation is an o9a trait? The Old Guards told me long, long, ago, way back in 2010ish that they were going to leave cyberspace… and they are still around 12 years later. And… I’m still here. Unfortunately, I have emotions. My emotions are what makes me come back and forth to ONA. One emotion is “long-time” sentimental attachment, like how you get sentimentally attached to a certain heirloom your late grandmother may have given to you… or like how as children we were sentimentally attached to teddy bears and dolls… or like how you grow attached to an old pair of faded jeans with holes in them but you can’t throw them out because you’ve had those jeans for so long, despite the functional fact that such holely [holy? holey? Idk how spell it ((the adjective of “hole”))] don’t function properly in a practical way. ONA is like an old pair of my favorite jeans with holes in them which I can’t seem to throw away.
It would have been easier for me to throw these old jeans away and sever my sentimental ties with ONA, if things were left the way they were, and no new writings or blogs presented themselves. Unfortunately, after clicking on links at theo9away.wordpress.com site, I stumbled upon a new o9a archive, addressed as [gawathan.wordpress.com]. My emotions changed after I read the PDFs on that gawatham blog, one of those PDF’s is an interview of Anton Long dated 2021 called “An Aristocratic Ethos.” The other PDF that influenced my emotions was one called the “Boundaries of O9A Philosophy.”
It’s hard to explain my emotions I feel after reading those PDFs. The emotions are a mix of Sympathy and Guilt. I will explain both feelings one at a time.
By the emotion of Sympathy, what I mean is that I like “Anton Long,” or the person behind that penname. As a human being, I have a certain aspect of my personality and characteristic where I just like helping people out with whatever they are doing, like projects, brainstorming, homework, research, whatever; even if they don’t directly/specifically ask me for help. If they don’t stop me, I will just keep trying to help them. And that aspect of my personality comes from my Brain’s need for stimuli. I just simply love to solve problems and mysteries. It’s the underlying reason why I spend so much time doing Natural Philosophy and studying Nature: because its a huge Mystery that can be solved.
And so its because of that dharma I have for wanting to stimulate my brain by solving problems and mysteries that gives me the emotion of Sympathy for Anton Long. He seems to be wanting to do something or go somewhere with the ONA. I get that impression because: why on earth would a human being from England, on this earth, which is in the middle of nowhere special in the universe, spending so much of his mortal time on such an earth [50 years and counting] putting in the time and effort to make ONA and write ONA shit? It must mean something to him? He must be going somewhere with it? There are so many things a elderly human being can spend their mortal time on earth doing, like find a ladyfriend, travel the world, garden, but Anton Long seems to have a thing for this ONA thing? What’s he trying to do, I wonder? Whatever he’s trying to do: I can help in my own ways by looking for problems and malfunctions, and figuring out how to work out those bugs… “debug” ONA as the computer jocks would say [there are bugs in ONA memeplex: unless you are suggesting to me that Anton Long is – like the Pope – perfect and infallible]. My Sympathy for Anton Long is rooted in Curiosity: I’m just curious what he is doing, when he dedicates 40-50 years of his human life manifesting ONA.
And so, in that curiosity, over the years, I mis-interpreted what Anton Long was trying to do. In the past, during the early years [2007-2009], I thought Anton Long was trying to make ONA into a satanic cult. And so, what I did was write a bunch of stuff about ONA that pulled all of the Satanic stuff to the foreground and pushed all of the other stuff to the background. But Anton Long wasn’t making a satanic cult. And so, I later thought that maybe – given his early years – that Anton Long was trying to make a Nazi cult. I can help with that too. I’m not White or a Nazi… but who cares, I can swing way Far Right rhetorically and talk Hitler shit. But I learned that he wasn’t trying to make a Nazi cult either. Maybe he’s trying to make a philosophical thing? Like his own school/denomination of philosophy? I can help with that too. And so I talk a lot about Buddhism and Natural Philosophy.
And so, that’s what I mean by my emotion of Sympathy for Anton Long. I don’t mean that a pity him.
What I mean by my emotions of Guilt… there are many reasons why I feel guilty. I make mistakes in/with ONA since 2006/2007. I failed many times in my attempts and endeavors to do certain things. For the past year, I have been thinking: ‘If me and all those ONA people [Old Guards and so on] did not (1) talk Anton Long into retiring & (2) did not make it open source… would everything that happened since 2018 ever happened?’
I feel Guilty, because I said that ONA was liberal in neutering and getting rid of Anton Long. The truth is, because of my helpful nature, I had a lot to do with that. The reasoning – back then, as I shared with the Old Guards – that I believed that Anton Long should retire, was that ONA needs to be weened from an ideological source and that ONA should not be become a personality cult. Because if ONA remains dependent on Anton Long to keep feeding them/us “official/authoritative” manuscripts, and if ONA becomes an Anton Long worshiping personality cult and the person behind Anton Long passes away of old age [as we all do in Time], then: ONA will die with him. If you go back and re-read the poem I wrote called Caladrius, which I wrote way back in 2009, before Anton Long retired: you can see where my mind was and that even back then, I saw a problem with Anton Long being the head of ONA. In that Caladrius poem, I said: “So dependent on your nightingale that you become sick and lost without her.” And so, in order to heal the King: you have to remove the King’s dependence on that nightingale.
But, when ONA became leaderless and open source, new problems arose: people randomly, from time to time, began to claim to be the new leader or the new outer rep of ONA; and entryism took place. The most significant entryism in ONA’s recent history would be agents acting thru telegram and the ToB manipulating people. I feel Guilty because I was, and still am a huge proponent of a leaderless and open source ONA. Back in 2013, in my resignation paper I turned into the Old Guards, I specifically wrote, defying growing sentiments in ONA at that time, that the only ONA I recognize is one that is leaderless.
Was this a big mistake I had made? I feel very bad inside, because all those years, I was only trying to help Anton Long grow ONA, and I helped cause big problems.
That feeling of Guilt from making mistakes in the past, gives birth to another Guilt I feel: I feel Guilty for leaving/abandoning a big mess I helped make, and not trying to clean up after myself. It’s like me saying: “So yeah… ONA seems to be fucked up… I don’t like it no more… see ya! You guys can fix it!”
And so in my feelings of Guilt, I came back to try to fix problems I see, which I helped make: the problem of ONA needing ethical boundaries, or needing to get rid of that document “authority of individual judgment.” [*]
Which is when I called a Truce to have an open discussion.
COMPROMISES & CONCESSIONS
I’m familiar with negotiations. Mostly from my many years as a tagger, and working the political side of tagger crews with our shot callers. Rival crews “battle” each other for things like territory, their members, spray cans, weed. After the battle/war, we hold Negotiations. A “negotiation” just means when two rival crews/nations sit down to make Compromises and Concessions, in order that BOTH sides benefit somehow. That’s the Honorable way to do things as the winner of a war: you are considerate of your rival’s needs and wellbeing. It’s dishonorable as the winner to just take everything: it makes you look bad to everybody, and exposes your ignoble character.
For example, this one time, our crew had won a battle with a rival crew. The stipulation of the battle was that the losing crew gives up their best tagger to the winning crew. We won, and so we initially demanded that the losing crew give up their best tagger, per stipulations. The losing crew said: “Come on… he’s our best dude. If we lose him, then how are we going to win battles with other crews?” And so, our crew made a Compromise, we said: “Okay… you keep him. But you give us your spray cans, and Green River street as part of our turf, and if our crew gets into a battle your crew helps us and vise versa. Deal?” The rival crew agreed, and so they made the Concession of: giving us all their spray cans and one of their streets they controlled and promising to help us in future battles.”
And so Compromise just means that you understand that you cannot always have things your way, that you must give up certain demands, that you must meet the other party half way. And Concession means to understand that you need to give the other party things. The honorable end goal is: mutual benefit, which is the desired end result where peace and harmony can arise.
And so, those two concepts [Compromises and Concessions] came to my mind when I read the several PDF’s at the Gawatham O9A Archive blog. It fix problems in ONA, Anton Long and the Old Guards made Concessions, where they brought all the boring stuff of ethos and ethics to the foreground of ONA… made such concept of ethics relevant again. They also, via those PDFs, made it known that ONA is not socially liberal because ONA is still about its Traditions.
Because of those Concessions, which I really like, I feel Guilty for abandoning ONA [the spirit/egregore of ONA], and am happily willing to make Compromises: I understand that ONA can’t and shouldn’t give me all of my demands, just to make me happy. I’m only one person of many ONA associates. I am not an individualist [re: individualism]: my own single person’s contentment is small and subordinate to that of the Collective/Whole Organism [the living entity that is ONA, of which we are cells]. The spirit of ONA was willing, via its OG cells, to meet me in the middle, and I will oblige by meeting the spirit of ONA half way, in that middle ground, and will – if I may – continue to help it in my own ways, as I have been doing.
Neither swinging to the Left or the Right. Neither extremism or extreme intellectualism. Buddhistically: sukkha [peace] is the Natural state of equilibrium where the Pendulum comes to rest. Ultimately, ONA must learn to neither swing in either direction, but to find its center: its natural state of peace and equilibrium. As a memeplex and social order [subculture, school of philosophy], ONA is still young, and has a lot of time to make mistakes, errors, and eventually find its Sukkha.
The various PDFs at Gawatham O9A Archive honestly makes me proud to be associated with ONA. I am hoping that new, future generations of ONA initiates/associates read and study those documents: because every thing that ONA writes [our words] are like fishnets that are cast out [as Christ taught]. And those fishnets bring in fish such fishnets are Designed to catch. Because Realistically [re: Realism] when we say “ONA” or “Order of Nine Angles” we are talking about a reific entity which is an abstract noun that isn’t real [can’t be pointed at or touched]. In Reality [re: Realism] what exists are people who are influenced by or identify with ONA. To catch Honorable fish: you need fishnets that are imbued with concepts of honorable behaviour and aristocratic/noble ethos. Those things need to be brought into the foreground, and what elements of ONA that got us into this mess [since 2018] need to be pushed to the back of the stage.
The Truce was fruitful. Now we can all return to status quo.
[*] My personal opinions/views about this document [the authority of individual judgment] – and this is purely my own fallible opinion – is that the said document was not written by Anton Long in the first place, and so, it is not primary source, and thus, is not even binding. But, at the same time, and in contrast to my individual opinion, a subculture and culture and Tribe has Elders, and such elders [especially in my strict Asian culture] and their elderly views [wise and experienced] are to be honored/respected by those younger [in age or in wisdom or in experience] than they. Our English word “Senator” does come from a certain Latin word with a topical meaning. And so, regarding that text of authority of individual judgment, my personal position is that: it is not primary text, not binding, or defining, but out of respect/honor [one who has the capacity to Honor/Respect/Venerate], being an Elder in this ONA subculture, the author’s text should be held in significant cultural/subcultural regard and thus adhered to.
.:.The snapshot is taken from the ONA MS “Authority of Individual Judgment.” There are 3 [three] points about that axiom which all ONA associates should understand and remember:
There is no such thing as an “official” or “genuine” ONA. No official interpretation of ONA which is the only correct and acceptable Order of Nine Angles.
You first must be an ONA Adept [able to answer 10 esoteric questions] and be a member of the Inner O9A before you have the proper wisdom and experience [via Pathei-Mathos] to make an interpretation of ONA.
There are no leaders or outer representative of the Order of Nine Angles.
.:.A fix to the central problem which has been causing the many negative Symptoms ONA has been suffering from has been made. The fix is more of a reiteration of things already present in ONA [from the o9away blog]:
I was told long ago by the Old Guards that as open source software has a development team which ensures that the software develops in the right direction so does an open source ONA. The Inner O9A is the custodial/development team of the Order of Nine Angles.
When I was younger, I hated the idea and concept of an “inner circle” of o9a Adepts and was a huge antagonist of such a concept. Today, having become more conservative, I understand the need for such a group/body who helps conserve ONA. The change in my views, sentiments, and mind about the need for an Inner Cabal of O9A Adepts is a product of my own personal pathei-mathos and watching ONA fall into the condition it has found itself in currently.
The Inner O9A also properly fills in the vacuum left behind by Anton Long’s retirement.
I am hoping [and hopeful] that the Inner O9A will gradually nurse ONA back to health.
^^^
But due to the success of Sinister-Numinous tradition’s influence on me, and having applied many of its teachings, especially of the concept of “Pathei-Mathos,” and having come to a gradual understanding of Nature [via Natural Philosophy] and of Human Nature: I still have to amicably sever my bonds and ties with the Order of Nine Angles as a member/associate because I have come to understand that we humans, and most high order creature have an instinctual Ethical Boundary, and ONA explicitly lacks any such Ethical Boundary. I will have to follow the example of the Old Guards when they created their Hebdomian Way: and abandon the ONA.
ONA is too socially Liberal for me. In my youth, I was socially liberal and liked ONA. Today I am socially conservative.
ONA also lacks any mechanism of Quality over Quantity. Each ONA MS acts like a fishnet. Those fishnets are cast into cyberspace and catch certain types of fish. The problem is that “ONA” is an abstract noun which does not exist as something you can touch. What exists in Reality [re: Realism] are the people who come into ONA and who associate with it. A nation/religion/tribe/family/group is only as good as the constitutional people who make up such a collective entity.
Also, due to my love for Natural Philosophy, over the many years, I have become a Realist. There isn’t much Realism in ONA. Most ONA people can’t “keep it real.” It is an impossibility, as I have observed over the many years for Anton Long, the Old Guards, and ONA people in general to be Realistic where they have the capacity to simply Admit to a Mistake: “We made a mistake regarding… the authority of individual judgment… regarding our judgement of character of such and such person… regarding allowing so much time for groups like the ToB to take root in ONA so they can influence and manipulate people…” instead of such a capacity to admit to mistakes, we see mythos on top of mythos, labyrinth on top of labyrinth: endless games of charades.
Also, like I said: Just like how England neutered their Monarch of power, ONA has gotten rid of Anton Long’s power. ONA is democratic. And like all democracies: there will always be secret cabals of people controlling things from behind the scenes. I’m a Monarchist.
ONA also has taken on the personality and character of it’s creator: Anton Long / David Myatt is wishy-washy and vacillates very often. Sometimes Anton Long’s primary texts are only guidelines… other times, the same texts are used in a binding, defining way.
Over the decade, I’ve also come to see the whole of ONA, meaning the 5000 pages of ONA MSS, as being exceptionally bloated, convoluted, and self-contradicting. Over those years, as I have gradually written in nexion zine, I came to understand that Satanism is very simple and Primal. And so, for many years I have yearned for a more simpler Satanism, one that is carefree and fun, one that has culture and ethical boundaries, one that has ceremonies and rituals. And so: I have returned to my old roots of LaVeyan Satanism based on The Satanic Bible & The Satanic Rituals.
I have grown to become a very un-ONA person.
The WSA also is too liberal and no longer represents the person I am today. I will very shortly dissolve it and lay it to rest.
I’m also done with writing. I’ve been writing non-stop since 2007. Like literally non-stop. I’ve lost the desire to write. Many other thing about Life in the Real world has captured my attention, heart, and mind. And so, Nexion Zine is Paused at issue 8.1.
I just came back to check up on ONA, and seeing that it was sick, I tried to help ONA one last time. The Inner O9A has everything under control. I hope that in a decade, that ONA will still be around. If not then by Wyrd’s Will: it was never meant to live long. I am amicably permanently severing my sentimental attachments with ONA, because we have grown apart. I leave like a baby bird, having learned to fly, leaves its nest. David Myatt’s writings has made me, since 2006, the person I am today.
I wrote a poem in 2009 called “Caladrius.” In the poem, I am Caladrius, the King is the ONA, and the Nightingale is David Myatt. And so, like the Caladrius: I’ve looked upon the face of this king for a while, and now I fly away.
When o9a dot org works again, I’ll post this over there too, which will be the last post I make in cyberspace [actually one more final, very short, post, and I’m done].
.:.A response to the Fenrir Team and a general thinking out loud to the general ONA audience:
I personally like Nameless Therein a lot. In more ways than you think. He is a “sight for soar eyes,” as they say. I made my first post here in nearly a year on November 8th about a pendulum swing for a reason.
The reason being that ONA also has gone thru a pendulum swing. What I’m talking about, and let’s just get down to business: Agencies working thru the Tempel ov Blood have fucked shit up for ONA. The ToB has pulled ONA into a very extremist and radical direction, which eventually harmed its public image and spirit. On top of that, because the general public and junk journalists can’t tell any difference between the ONA the ToB fabricated and the ONA Anton Long fabricated, those journalists since 2018 have been killing the ONA. Which is why it’s now publicly dead: which is why you see the Old Guards take all of their websites and blogs down, and they have vacated.
Nameless Therein, represents the total opposite swing of the pendulum. I want nothing more than for him and all of you guys on the Ferir Team, Beast Xeno et al, than to see you guys go with that dialectical pendulum swing and take ONA into a place that is more intellectual, more philosophical, more spiritual, more Pagan [re: more meaningful and edificatious ((having the quality of Edification))].
But if such a pendulum swing calls for the need of a leader or an Outer Representative: then don’t just take that post/office/title. There is a right and proper way to get that office and title as a descent and honorable human being. Descent people don’t take what does not belong to them. Ask the Old Guards or Anton Long for it, if such is what you desire. Since Anton Long stopped being Grandmaster of ONA, there will always be a power vacuum. I understand that such a vacuum will be filled by somebody. But there is an honorable and right way to fill that vacuum: just ask. Don’t ask me though, I am nobody to give or offer titles and leadership positions in ONA.
I find myself back where I started in 2013. Back then, I resigned as Outer Rep because of the ToB. 2013 was when the ToB began their entryism. At that time, a book author had published a fiction novel which used the ONA as a story prop. In that novel the ONA was some organized crime cult which went around committing murders and so on. The Old Guards bemoaned amongst themselves how ONA was all soft and how it would be great if the real ONA was like the one in fiction.
That bemoaning set the stage for the entryism, where the ToB [I shouldn’t say “ToB”, to be more accurate: ToB was acting under influence of professionals] began talking about how the ONA needs a leader, and one that is hardcore and dangerous; certainly not some outer rep like me who spent time softening ONA with essays on Buddhism and Natural Philosophy.
And so at that time there grew in ONA two opposing factions: 1) one faction wanted ONA to be leaderless & 2) the other faction wanted a hardcore leader in order to make ONA hardcore.
The unfortunate thing about all of us human beings is that we learn to acquire our organic intelligence the hard way: I wanted to tell the Old Guards and general ONA population back then that if you guys follow the example of David Myatt and C18 and become hardcore radicals with radical political views, that you will reap the same exact end results as David Myatt and C18 did in the past.
Any group of people who demonstrates that they will use lethal violence in order to push their radical political beliefs will be perceived as a threat to the State. And so therefore the State will send its agents provocateur into such threats to disrupt your group, cause internal strife and distrust, in order to break that group up and neutralize it. Having a leader makes the job of such agents even more easy because you simply have to decapitate that group of its leader, and the group resultantly falls apart thereafter. It’s this stupid and silly mistake the Far Right has been making for 70 years.
But people don’t listen. They need to learn their lessons the hard way. And so fast forward to today and what happened? Thru the ToB, young kids got radicalized, they couldn’t tell the ToB’s fabricated ONA apart from Anton Long’s, the kids were manipulated to commit violent crimes, they went to jail, agents got promoted, journalists sensationalized this shit: journalists got paid, that nut case from Hate not Hope furthered his political ambitions of gaining further influence, George Soros danced around gleefully: they’re all happy and well off now, and ONA went to shit. They’re just looking for the Next Boogyman to use to further their careers and profits/power: and ONA was a good boogyman. So I left ONA back then in 2013. If they want to take ONA into that direction: fine, but I’m out. And so we all learned our lessons didn’t we? It only took a decade. Which all brings me to why I left ONA in February:
PENDULUM SWING
I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching these past few months. I’ve come to realize something I find very emotionally difficult. Two maxims have been repeating in my mind and echoing inside of me for the past year, since the beginning of 2022.
The first Maxim is something my grandmother and the old people in my culture say: “You will stumble upon that which you hate.”
I’ve come to realized that the ONA has become the very things I hate in life.
I hate democracy, because its premise is faulty. The rhetoric of democracy is that: if we get rid of the power of the King, then the “people” will have power to rule themselves. But is that the case? No, people in a democracy have no more power than serfs and indentured servants did in old Europeans kingdoms. In a democracy, cabals and organized groups of rich and powerful men control the government and country [Deep State as Trump and company calls it] and wield strong influence.
ONA has been democratized: we have gotten rid of Anton Long, gotten rid of his post as Grandmaster, stopped him from writing primary source ONA MSS. Just like England did with its monarch. And just like in any democracy: organized groups end up playing entryism and gaining control and influence: ToB did it to ONA. It’s the same pattern that took place in the USSR: an organized group of people used communism to gain influence on their Russian audience/market, took control of the country, gain their profit and career promotions… and ran Russia to shit with the collapse of the Soviet Union.
I hate Liberalism. And ONA has become very liberal. Just like how America is liberal. For example, there was a time in the long past when WASP [White Anglo-Saxon Protestant] had a meaning. Today, because of Liberalism, America has destroyed its Traditional Religion of Catholicism and Protestant Christianity, and so, there is no more “P” in WASP. America is so Liberal today, that any inkling of ethnic or racial consciousness is deemed to be racists. Ask a group of young White people in America who were all born and raised in this Liberal society of ours what their ethnicity is, and I can guarantee that most of those young kids won’t even know [lack awareness/consciousness of the fact] that they are Anglo-Saxon. And so there is no more “AS” in WASP.
That same Liberal pattern is inside ONA. Because all of us, as with all things in nature, are a product of our environment, and we all are born and raised our entire human lives inside of a Liberal society [since the 70s]. ONA has gotten rid of its Traditional religion: Traditional Satanism. You can be any type of Satanist or even any type of religion you want in ONA these days… even a Buddhist [me].
And like how America did away with its own Culture: ONA has Liberally done away with its culture. To the extent where the Old Guards, in creating the Hebdomadry Way [or whatever it’s called] said in simple English: We went thru the entire ONA corpus and we have deemed 99% of the whole thing to be useless. Cultural praxes in ONA meaning stuff like the ceremonies in the Black Book of Satan, and so on.
And just like how America puts the “American Dream” as a carrot on a stick, where it tells Americans: all that old religion, culture, and shit don’t matter because what you want and are seeking is that nebulous American Dream: ONA and the Hebdomadry Way puts the concept of “Lapis Philosophicus” [a very nebulous abstraction] as the carrot on a stick were they say: all that Satanism stuff, the ceremonies, the magic and shit, that all’s dumb and useless, all you want and need to chase after is that carrot on a stick!
All the Liberalism that the ONA has become, even going so far as to parrot Liberal society in saying that in ONA there exists “gender equality,” going so far with Reichfolk in saying that all racial diversity is Numinous and divine, and having detoothed Anton Long [making his primary source ONA MSS only “guidelines” and not binding], has led me to the second Maxim that now echoes in my mind.
Dan Dread said/coined this second Maxim. He once said: “If Satanism can meaning anything, it means nothing.”
Today, because ONA has done away with all of its old institutions – grandmaster, traditional religion, traditional culture, binding concepts, values, etc – it can mean and be anything to anyone. ONA has no established political standard. ONA has no established ethical standard. ONA has no value system. Anybody can be ONA, and as an ONA associate you can pick and chose different ONA ideas to be ONA in your own way. Some ONA people are communists, some are capitalists, some are Leftists, some are Rightist, etc. ONA today can be anything you want it to be. And so, because it can mean and be anything: it is nothing.
And that is a very big problem, as I have come to see: the problem is that because ONA is today very liberal and without established rules: people can come in, identify as ONA, or as a Nexion, and say shit like: we stand for rape… we stand for torture and rape of children.
But the problem with people being born and raised in a Liberal environment is that we do not like established rules and ethics. Because the moment Anton Long or the Old Guards say something like: “Okay… this has gone too far, we need rules and ethics” we’d all whine and cry shit like: “That’s dogma! We have a right to live our lives like we want!” ONA has no established system of value. It values nothing. It means nothing. It can be anything.
I now know that the older I grow up, the more conservative I become. I do have my one value system: I value Traditional Religion, which is why I continue to be a Theravada Buddhist, because it’s the religion of my people and race. I value Thai, Khmer, and Chinese cultures, because those are the cultures I was born and raised in and are the cultures of my own race and people. I value Ethos and Ethics based on the concept of Honor and Decency. And because of such concept of Honor and Decency, there are things, behaviours, actions, ways of speaking, ways of carrying yourself in society, ways of interacting with your elders and superiors that are “right” and “wrong.”
Many times in the past, often in Nexion Zine, I will play the devils advocate, and rhetorically write things and say things in order to see how ONA people and the Old Guards will react. For example, if I use rhetoric to make it seem like rape is fine [militaries used it in the past, etc], would they put their foot down and actually show an inkling or desire for ethical boundaries? Would they stop being Liberal and give Anton Long his teeth again where they say that such conduct and actions go against what ONA represents and values [indicating a System of Values] because it says so in such and such primary source text by Anton Long? How far must things be taken before ONA realizes that lines need to be drawn, that Ethos and Ethics need to be revisited and addressed, that boundaries need to be set, that ONA needs to represent something, that it needs solid ground to stand on: in order to be meaningful and edificatious?
I am at a point where that unless ONA changes, if it stays the way that it currently has become: then I cannot endorse it, support it, or associate with it, because it represents everything I dislike about our current Western Liberal societies, and because it [ONA] is so nebulous today that it is meaningless. Unfortunately, the people who can change it: the Old Guards and Anton Long, are no longer here, and may not even still understand that something is fundamentally wrong and broken with ONA today. By their fruit ye shall judge: it only takes a good look at the fruit/people that ONA has been producing for the past several years, to understand that something is broken. Newton was right after all: certain changes we made in the past to circumvent the Blackwood Problem created unintended negative causal reactions.
These are my last moments in ONA. Even though ONA doesn’t represent me anymore, I still have a sentimental attachment to the spirit/egregore/volksgeist of ONA which brings me back to check up on it. I hate to see it die because it is broken. In the old days, it would have been easy to work to fix the problems because Anton Long was around and you could just talk with the Old Guards about issues and they would relay such talks to Anton Long who would fix things for us. They are all gone; if they are around, they seem indifferent.
My sentimental attachments to the spirit of ONA just gives me an instinctive reaction when people seem to claim leadership or claim to be outer rep… but at this moment in time, I must admit that, I secretly believe that such might be a workable idea. But, like I said: there is a proper and decent way to get that title and post. I’ll hang around for a couple months, to see if the Old Guards will come back to help fix the problems. If they don’t come back, it means they wish for ONA to indeed publicly die away. And I will follow their cue and sever my sentimental attachments permanently. I’ve learned a lot from ONA, and I gained a very valuable Life Skill from it: writing. All that being said: the pendulum swing ONA is going into, is a good swing. I hope it will be fruitful.
.:.I will tell you guys the story of how I once became so-called “Outer Representative” of the ONA, and about what happened to that office/post/title.
Seems as though every time I leave ONA, ONA slowly gets sick, becomes disarrayed, people leave, things get chaotic/disorganized/incoherent, and what few people are left in ONA start claiming titles and setting themselves up as the “New Leader.” I’ve left ONA now 3 times. ONA is now publicly dead… again.
Originally, way back in 2006, when I first learned about the ONA, I wanted to be a member of it very badly. Unfortunately at that time, ONA was publicly dead. There were only 2 significant ONA people around back then [circa 2005-2006]: 1) the Old Guard “DarkLogos,” & 2) Kris [Ryan Anschauung] of the Temple of THEM.
You can’t be a member of something which is dead and defunct. And so, my only option I knew of, was to help revive it, so it can come back to life, that way I can be a member of it. Me [and my WSA friends] ended up joining forces with DarkLogos and Kris/Ryan, and so the three of us, along with another Associate nymmed “Saturnyan352” worked together behind the scenes to resurrect the ONA from the dead.
During that era of ONA’s “dark ages” [circa 2005], ONA had died due in many parts to the Outer Representative Michael Ford leaving ONA to start his own thing. As with dead things, you have vultures encircling the carcass. And so, during those dark ages, a vulture named Grand Magister Blackwood [Tom Raspotnik] ran around the internet claiming that somebody in New York had made him the Grand Master of ONA. Me and DarkLogos spent a lot of time having fun with Blackwood, getting rid of him. Those were fun times. Blackwood’s claims were fraudulent, because there are only a number of legit ways that he could have been made the leader of ONA: 1) Michael Ford gave him the leadership, 2) Anton Long gave him the leadership, or 3) One of the Old Guards gave him the leadership. None of those three were the case.
By the year 2008-2009, I had my own WordPress blog. At my blog, I began to write “ONA” stuff. Except, most of what I spent my time writing about was Buddhism. Why? Well because I honestly had not fucking clew/clue what exactly the ONA was besides that it was a cool denomination of Satanism. And so, not knowing what ONA exactly was, I was not able to write anything actually ONA. And so, I wrote about Theravada Buddhism.
Around the year 2010ish, the Old Guard SinisterMoon [my liaison to Anton Long] told me that she and the other Old Guards were leaving the internet. SinisterMoon says to me: “You have everything under control. You don’t need us anymore. You can be outer rep if you want.”
At that time, I had no idea what outer rep was, because I simply had not yet read most of the ONA MSS to see that post or title used by anybody. I accepted the nonchalant offer anyways.
But I told SinisterMoon, that I can’t just tell people in my blogs and on the internet that I am the new outer rep, because it would look fake and people would accuse me of making false claims. I told SinisterMoon that I need the Old Guards to somehow make it known that I am the outer rep, in order to authenticate things. SinisterMoon and the Old Guards disappeared for a while and returned with two of their own ways to help me. Their first way was to delete the contents of nineangles.info, which at that time was the only ONA site run by the Old Guards, and in place of the old ONA content they had placed a link to my blog, and had redirected traffic from ninangles.info to my blog:
The second way the Old Guards helped me out was to get David Myatt’s own historiographer Julie Wright to actually say a few things in a biography of David Myatt she had written on her now defunct site. I had downloaded that essay and uploaded it to archive dot org for record keeping. The essay, called “A Short Biography of David Myatt,” says this on page 16:
At this same time, Dr. Monette was interviewing a few of us in ONA as he was writing a university text book which had a chapter in it about ONA. I asked Dr. Monette for help also. I told him my predicament, that I was offered the post/title of outer rep, but that I can’t myself make any such claims to such titles. I need people of name and reputation to inform people. Dr. Monette helped by writing a whole section about me as outer rep in his ONA chapter [which never made it into the actual published book], which can be found here: https://archive.org/details/ONA-ChapterFive
And so, I have never made any claims that I was the “leader” or outer representative of ONA. The objective fact was that: 1) An Old Guard nymmed SinisterMoon offered me said post/title, which I accepted, 2) David Myatt’s historiographer made the claim in her biography of David Myatt that I [the young Asian woman of Khmer heritage in question] led the ONA, & 3) A reputable professor of a university reiterated such.
I accepted the offer. Note my words. I use my wording very carefully. Nobody ever officially made me outer rep. Anton Long never chose me to be outer rep. It was simply offered to me by an Old Guard in a very nonassertive and nonchalant way. As if she said to me: “So yeah… since we’re leaving and all… I guess you can be outer rep… but only if you want! You don’t have to be outer rep, but if you want you can.” If anybody – regarding my former post/title offered to me – was making claims, or even false claims, they would be: The Old Guards, David Myatt’s biographer Julie Wright, and Dr. Monette.
Eventually, before I left ONA back then [I wrote about this leaving in Nexion Zine 1.0], I wrote my Resignation Paper and turned it into the Old Guards. When you are a subordinate of a superior in a proper and professional setting, and you desire to quit or leave your job or post, it’s protocol to turn in a resignation paper which must be accepted [your resignation must be accepted by your superior]. In my resignation paper I specifically vacated the post of outer rep and I specifically RETURNED that post and title back to the Old Guard who offered it to me: SinisterMoon.
And so, like a football or a Trophy, when I returned that ball [the title of outer rep] back to SinisterMoon, that ball was in her possession and in possession of the Old Guards. Unless those same Old Guards gave or offered that ball/title to you, or unless Anton Long gave or offered that ball/title to you back then: you are making fraudulent claims of an office or title that does not legit belong to you.
So I left ONA, and a year later I returned to the online world and checked up on ONA, to see how it was doing. It was sick, once again dying, all of the people I once knew in ONA were gone, all of my allies like Beast Xeno, Dan Dread, etc were gone. And there were vultures circling ONA’s sickly body.
Upon my return that era [2013-2014], I reestablished contact with the Old Guard DarkLogos to inform him that I have returned to ONA. I wanted to help nurse ONA back to health. And so, my first conversation with DarkLogos was roughly: “Have you read Dr. Monette’s book yet? He’s published it.” DarkLogos says to me: “I’ve ordered it, but it hasn’t come yet. What do you think of it?” I said back to DarkLogos: “Dr. Monette, in his chapter on ONA, claims that some person named Jall is outer rep? Who is this Jall? I don’t know this person. Did you guys make Jall outer rep? Cuz if you did, then I’m cool with it and will support your choice. But if you didn’t make Jall outer rep, then we have a problem.”
The problem is the “Blackwood Problem:” people playing power games, usurping titles, and trying to make themselves leader of ONA. The Old Guards and I worked things out with Anton Long to have him retire and stop writing and to get rid of the old office of “grandmaster” of ONA because of this problem. DarkLogos stated that neither he nor the other Old Guards made this Jall person outer rep. DarkLogos said that he’d have a word with Dr. Monette about the said claim. I complained, saying to DarkLogos: “That post and title needs to go. They keep finding ways to play their power whore games. If the office of outer rep remains in ONA, ONA will always be mired in power struggles like the old days.” DarkLogos agreed, and disappeared for a few days. Days later Anton Long and the Old Guards everywhere online removed/dissolved the post and title of Outer representative saying that such post/title was a jape or test. It was a real office and title: David Myatt also created Reichsfolk National-Socialism, and Reichsfolk does have a post/office/title of “Outer Representative.” Richard Stirling [who has written quite a few ONA stuff] is the Outer Representative of Reichsfolk. Same David Myatt: same pattern of implementing an office/title of “Outer Representative.”
I’m slightly different from most ONA people: I’m not a product of ONA Mythos. I’m not going to tell stories about how such offices were clever japes and tests. I am an honest person and I keep shit real: There once did exist an office of Grandmaster and an office of Outer Representative, but since ONA has evolved to be an open source Subculture and a decentralized leaderless movement, those two offices and titles have been dissolved by Anton Long since the 2011-2014 era of ONA and are defunct. Anybody who has been in ONA for over a decade knows this. Which beings us to the real issue:
SUBCULTURE
A subculture is a little small culture. For example, the Punk scene [people who listen to punk music]. If you are a punker, a punk rocker, you belong to that punk music subculture, and you dress a certain way, listen to a certain style of music, speak with punk subcultural jargon, but: there is no such thing as a leader or representative of punk rock subculture.
Likewise with the surfing and skateboarding and hip hop subculture: there simply is no such thing as a leader, grandmaster, potentate, inner circle, outer representative of any of those subcultures.
But in cultures and subculture there are 1) Adepts & 2) Influencers. Adepts are like computer jocks who can program computers and build their own computer from scratch. Influencers – such as influencers from TikTok and social media may not be adepts at shit regarding their subculture [as an American, I doubt the TikTok Influencer Bella Poarch is an adept American where she can recite the US constitution from memory, name all the capitals of all 50 states, name you all the grandchildren that George Washington had, and shit] but due to their looks, or social skills, or charisma, or whatever: they wield a large influence upon their peers.
As a subculture and leaderless movement, it simple makes no logical sense for ONA to have leaders and inner or outer representatives. But yes: ONA subculture has its Adepts and Influencers.
And that is the bedrock or fundamental issue of the Blackwood Problem: people in ONA who claim to be leader of ONA or claim to be Outer Representative of ONA are fundamentally wanting Influence.
MARKETING
If it is influence that you are seeking, then making yourself the leader or outer rep is not good marketing. Why so? Well, it’s as if you came to ONA and you said to ONA people: “I understand that you are a self-described leaderless movement and subculture, and that’s all great, but I will be your leader anyways because I have all of these great ideas that I want you guys to adopt… and on top of that, not only do I want to be your leader and make you adopt my ideas, but there are a few things I don’t like about ONA and boy do I have wonderful ideas to make ONA better for you guys!”
In a market/audience which feels and understands itself to be leaderless and a subculture: how do you sell yourself and ideas to such people by going against the grain of their subculture and claiming leadership titles?
I watched a whole lot of Hitler and Third Reich documentaries. There was a time when Hitler was asked what Charisma was. Charisma is the fundamental factor/ingredient [there are a few other factors] of influence in any culture, subculture, religion, cult, organization, political party, and social setting. Hitler answers: “Charisma is a special relationship between me and the German folk.” What Hitler was saying is that Charisma is the bond and relationship between you and your audience/market. It’s one of the reasons why Hitler publicly tried hard to appear as if he was single and not in a relationship with a woman. The relationship is Hitler + German people. The same public presentation and technique can be seen in popular Influencers like Bella Poarch and Amouranth, who both kept their marriages a total secret from their audience/market, until their recent respective divorces.
Which means that if you do not know your audience/market: you will fail in selling yourself and your ideas [fail at inspiring and influencing] to that audience/market. Which defeats your premise in the first place doesn’t it? You want influence on or in ONA, but you don’t know your audience/market. The ONA market/audience is a leaderless subculture: people who don’t need a special and sanctioned person to tell them how to be a Satanist, a Pagan, or an Occultist. But yet you insist on being a leader or an Outer representative.
I have been around online Satanism since 2003 on MySpace, and I’ve been around ONA since 2006: I have seen Satanists, many of whom were very intelligent, come to Satanism or ONA claiming titles – reverend, grotto master, high priest, blah blah blah – and 100% of the time those same people huff and puff for a good year or two and fall off the face of the earth failing to have any influence on Satanism or ONA because they didn’t know or have an audience. 100% of the time.
And so, in closing: I can’t police ONA subculture and I can’t make people stop claiming to be leader or outer representative of ONA. People – other human beings – are free agents with free will and most often, with egos [hence the grand claims] – but I can try to reason with some of you who are in ONA who are intelligent and who seek influence: if it is influence that you seek in ONA, claiming titles is counter productive and will cause you to fail in time, 100% guaranteed.
What I can also do is to give ONA people a second perspective, point of view, from those that make such claims of title and leadership: ONA is 1) Leaderless, it is a subculture, you don’t need nobody to read a few ONA MSS and be a Satanist or Pagan or ONA Associate, 2) ONA has always, from its birth, been an individual process of just you yourself going thru the Seven-Fold Way on your own time and terms; and so as an individual process, having a leader or outer representative is stupid and irrelevant, 3) The only real and genuine Leader of ONA is Anton Long simply because Anton Long created/codified the Order of Nine Angles, it belongs to him, it is his; & 4) ONA or the Order of Nine Angles is a name of the ONA Corpus, which is circa 5000 pages of stuff written by the only genuine Leader of ONA [who gave up his title and office of leadership in 2011]; and so, as such, 5000 pages of writing has no leader or outer representative. People will always make claims, you as ONA people just need to have the simple understanding of what a subculture is and the understanding of what ONA is [how it was put together by Anton Long].
I find it very disappointing that ONA people can say, act, and pretend that they look up to Anton Long / David Myatt, that they respect him, that they study his writings and even see such writings as scripture but: the same ONA people don’t seem to have the honor and capacity to simply emulate Anton Long. Anton Long gave up his leadership role and titles way back in 2011, and never since then, has he ever made any claims to be its leader or representative. In fact, even before 2011, in the Letters of Steven Brown, Anton Long has made it known that even he is not the leader of ONA. But yet – but yet – there are ONA folks who have and still do insist that they are leaders or titled/entitled representatives of ONA. It’s like those Christians who bible thump and quote scripture… but who lack the spiritual capacity to emulate Jesus and be Christ Like. Actions speak louder than words, as they say. By their fruit… this outer representative thing is a test like the Old Guards said isn’t it? A test of actual character and ulterior motive.
Well last night was a huge Red Flop. I was amped up from tuning into weeks of what’s been happening in Iran and their protests and I was wishfully hoping/thinking that a Republican take over would galvanize the Right and Far Right in America towards similar unrest and then Civil War. I forgot to calculate how apathetic and pathetic Mundanes are [the average voting Joe Schmoe].
There is not enough heat in America to bring the Right and White to a boiling point yet. The Left and Liberals need more time to stay in power to fuck shit up a little more.
Two things are now clear to me after last night’s Republican belly flop:
The Republican Party is incoherent and lacks a solid Modernized [relevant to current times and situations] platform, ideology, and most importantly: Vision. I do not understand [it’s hard to grasp] how a president with such low approval ratings can do so well with a midterm election. The party is Right leaning, but not truly Right in the open. They need to openly embrace the concept of a Heritage Race [WASP], of preserving American culture and traditions. But doing so will have the Left [neo-marxists] calling them racists.
All things now considered, with the consideration of last night’s Republican belly flop: Realistically, there won’t be a Civil War 2.0 in America. There is just not enough heat and unrest [public and economic].
I was really hoping that what is gradually happening in Europe would happen in America soon, like now! Looks like we need to flood America with more Third World migrants in order to poke and prod the American public to act up.
Now I have doubts about Trump winning a second term. Without Trump and his narrative, it will be hard for a Civil War to happen.
The best thing to do in America, is to bite the bullet and continue to support the Left and their crazy Liberal agendas for another decade. Having said that, for the public record: I am a Leftist and very Progressively Liberal and I hope that AOC becomes president one day. I honestly believe that grown transvestite men who wear miniskirts should be allowed to use the girls bathroom at public schools and other places. And I like Wokism.
[Negotiation = Compromises + Concessions >-> Agreement/Peace/Mutual-Benefit]
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