Ontological Limitations

Posted: December 10th, 2021 | Author: | Filed under: David Myatt, Nihilism, O9A, O9A Nine Angles, Occultism, Order of Nine Angles, Order of the Nine Angles, paganism, Rounwytha | Tags: , , , | Comments Off on Ontological Limitations

My limited Worldview/Philosophy stands as follow:

1- Human beings are born in an epistemic state of ‘Tabula Rasa”; This means they become and transform according to their experiences and environment(s). What they adopt, cherish and uphold conceptually is not an inherent principle and often will constitue their self-imposed purpose throughout their life.

2- Human beings are born with a fallible and limited perspective of reality. This perspective along with our capacity to ‘word’ things led us to create imperfect language forms (Tongues, Mathematic, Logic) to try and make sense of reality. Concepts, world versions and Ideologies are then created through our fallible language forms and become the center piece of our lives as we represent ourselves through them and insert purpose into existence via our conceptual, limited understanding.

Thus, the equation stands as follow: Limited Perception – Limited Languages – Limited Concepts – Limited Wordlviews – Fallible Ontology.

3- I distinguish between a ‘Functional’ usage of language and a ‘Dysfunctional’ usage of language. A functional usage would be relating to something tangible (I.e: Give me an apple) while a dysfunctioal usage of language would pertain to something abstract (I.e: What is God). Languages originated for functional purposes and have been stretched/exhausted abnormaly in philosophy to try and make sense of what is beyond our grasp. Philosophical questions pertaining to functional attributes often equates an expansion of knowledge in accord with the discoveries made by science. Though most questions in philosophy are of an abstractive/metaphysical nature and have been stagnant for thousands of years because of their dependency on language(s). Thus, a new mode of communication, a new language or a revised version of our current tongues would probably cause alterations in our ways of ‘thinking’ reality and defining it but such languages would also be the product of our inherent limited apparatus (i.e: our brain capabilities, our senses etc…) It is thus sensible to conclude that such a change is highly unlikely considering how settled we are in the way we communicate, label and define our enviromnent and its phenomenons which are increasingly less and less mysterious/mystical to us thanks to Science.

4- Once the limitations of language(s) become apparent, there is a natural unfolding that happens where abstractions are rejected or replaced at the very least by more ‘accurate’ world versions (Example: Religion being replaced by Science). The problem with the more accurate world versions (I.e: Science, Naturalism) is that they often concern ‘Functional’ attributes of life. They slowly but surely bring about a better explanation of the reality we live in, but they do not give us purpose as beings and they certainly do not fill the blanks for us with illusory answers like abstractions do. They are simply descriptors of phenomenons and we, as a species, adapt and model our lives and morals according to the increasingly better understanding that we have of such phenomenons.

5- Thus, we are left in an existential checkmate: Functional world versions are bettering our lives and renewing our understanding of the cosmos but they do not bring us a transcendental purpose which is often found in less accurate world versions (I.e: Spirituality, Religion, Occultism, Ideologies). This logically means that the rejection of abstractions naturally keeps us away from fallible conceptual landscapes which are just sloppy convulsions,  byproducts of misunderstanding language -as Wittgenstein once said- and those do not bring us any closer to the/a truth. Thus, both equations stand as follow:

Functional Usage Of Language – Functional Conceptual Application – Functional World Version Based On Observation – Epistemology – Science -Expanded Understanding Of The Cosmos.
Dysfunctional Usage Of Language – Dysfunctional Conceptual Application – Dysfunctional World Version Lacking a Method of Validity – Epistemological Dead End – Abstractions – Erroneous Belief(s).

So if our awareness leads us to the understanding that our inherent perspective, our languages and our philosophies are limited and that functional worldviews inform us about the world we live in but not about who we are and what our purpose is. And if our less accurate world versions based on faith and unverifiable beliefs can’t be trusted for a sense of purpose then, what is there left for us, Nihilism?

6- My answer to that is simply: The experience itself, the journey, the poetry that awakes in the very act of living intensively. Each of us can find their very own meaning, their very own mode of living, their very own purpose and get to know who they are and what they want to be in this small segment of time that they are a part of. Our perception, our semantical and conceptual creations can’t be a trustworthy pathway to truth because the very language it stems from is limited. Whether someone needs to adopt a set of beliefs for a time or align with a specific ideology or abstraction is part of a personnal discovery, a personnal learning process. Often times, this attachment to abstractions often leads to stagnation and to the certainty of knowing so prevalent in most people nowadays. My personnal intimation is that all the transformative and alchemical components are within us and may or may not be awakened via a specific mode of living. As world makers -Like Nelson Goodman- once said, we have the capability to edit, transform, add, remove, stitch, abandon our world versions and the conceptual, abstract foundations that made them as they are. This capability can lead us to change, to unfold a new understanding over the course of our life and to transform.

7- In the light of Satanism and the Order of Nine Angles, this realization brought about a new understanding of myself that could not be reconciled with the more abstract nature of the O9A (I.e: The Dark Gods, The Aeonic Sorcery, Vindex etc…) This gradual unfolding led me to do the most antinomian and -ironically- the most Satanic thing I could have done which was go forward in my life with no conceptual comfort/security whatsoever and live similarly to what is presented in the ‘Rounwytha Way’ and the ‘Philosophy of Pathei-Mathos’. In the moment, in ‘Propria Persona’ without attachment to ideologies, dogmas or just any abstraction in general. My existence became the ritual, the experiences became the sigils, the tired breaths while climbing mountains became my chants, the distant sunsets on the road became my rewards.

Special Note: What remains appealing to me in the ‘Rounwytha Way’ is the process itself without a necessary explanation. The act of doing does not necessitate a referenced intellectual absolute. The very act of Occult praxis is based  on the principle of extracting meaning from a meaningless experience. A good example of this is the rite of external adept which I performed in harsh winter conditions. We make choices and the adventure is all about trying to understand the choices that we make and ingest purpose/meaning into them. This process, as I mentioned, can be enlivened by a world version such as the Order of Nine Angles but ultimately, you should learn to know yourself in complete conceptual nakedness and abstractions should never be the defining factor of ‘you’ as a being. If you adopt any labels, you have enslaved yourself to conceptual limitation and adopted a specific worldview with a specific ruleset, thus limiting yourself.

8- The things that matters the most to us are things beyond ourselves: Love, Friendship, Compassion, Empathy, Honor, Justice. We have no definitive way of accurately understanding through words these things that we experience so intensely. It is thus my opinion that happiness is mean’t to be shared and that grandeur and poetry can be inspired/instilled into the heart of other beings that cross our lives. Not in order to please an Ideology, a Religion, a Political Manifesto but simply to share and gracefully change for the better together through the fire of experience and the inexplicable powers of love.

TL:DR – “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.” – Soren Kierkegaard

-Beldam


Beyond Abstractions

Posted: June 20th, 2021 | Author: | Filed under: David Myatt, Labyrinthos Mythologicus, O9A, O9A Nine Angles, Occultism, Order of Nine Angles, Order of the Nine Angles, Rounwytha | Tags: , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Beyond Abstractions

It seems that, sometimes, beings have the capacity via empathy to tap into something. To be reminded of their place in the universe, their partaking, their insignificance and momentarily transcend abstractions. They become aware of what trully matters instead of the usual illusory leanings that often lead them towards meaningless avenues and empty dreams of conquests and dominion. David Myatt has had many such moments throughout his lifelong quest which swayed between abstractions and becoming free of them through terrible ordeals. I am often reminded of his words in times of hardships and this piece especially -in my humble opinion- encompasses what happens when the pressure of opposites cease to exist. Then, there is only this personnal finding that silence, compassion and love are what lies ahead along with the death of the ‘ego’. We are reminded that we are temporal and ephemereal beings that can, for a very brief moment, experience stillness in a causal form with the capacity to share the love, the sufferings of others only later to return to the primal energies of the cosmos.

“The one of understanding, feeling the timeless nature of Existence, Does not exhort, nor preach, nor hold fast to any dogma: They are Silent, Pointing to the clouds in the sky. For each must find their own goal, in their own time: They who understand only guide those who earnestly seek, Those whose time for understanding has arrived. The tranquillity of life is in understanding of self, For thereby comes acceptance of the illusion of Existence: And they who are tranquillity become thus all life, Realizing the folly of action breeding violence. Yet they who are all life are Being, become – Waiting with tranquillity for the coming of death. With discarding of self comes the realization of eternity bringing sadness And with the realization of eternity comes the tranquillity of compassion. For they who are compassion merge with all existence And live thus in the wisdom of sorrow bringing tears. Yet they who cry know also the laughter of the moment: Blown away by the wind like the clouds in the sky. Thus does the seeker of the goal that is no goal Realize the unwisdom of words: Understanding wind in clouds in the sky. Those who transcend self by their many errors of experience – Understanding thus the serenity of silence – Need no outward chattel For they are richer than all the riches of Earth. Thus do they who quest after transcendence become still, A falling leaf turned Autumn brown Following the wind of the moment: Neither clinging to, nor striving against, The force of existence ever a dream in the end. They who are still Seek not the folly of the wisdom of worship, Nor the secrecy of shrines: For their temple is a swaying branch in a glade of trees Resting on a high hill beneath the wind-blown clouds in the sky; And their prayer is Silence.”  -David Myatt

-Beldam


About Beldam

Posted: June 8th, 2021 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Comments Off on About Beldam


The only point of interest regarding my persona is perhaps the fact that I have explored many currents over the last 15 years (Chaos Magic, Satanism, Luciferianism, Witchcraft, Goetia, Kriya Yoga, Herbalism …) and that this exploration has led me to certain conclusions regarding existence and occultism. Such conclusions have led me to understand myself in a new light and to -ironically- walk away for good from many things which I hoped would help me unlock certain mysteries about the nature of existence and my very own Physis.

I am nothing but a seeker, a student of life and I am not attached to any avenues, be they Political, Ideological, Religious, Occult or otherwise. The Order of Nine Angles, with its Labyrinthos Mythologicus has the possibility to generate many different types of beings. For better or for worse, my path has been heavily influenced by my explorations in the Seven-Fold Way. Since the release of my final written work: Thurhfaran, I have locked my altar away and ceased practices I had been undertaking for so many years. My heart had been telling me for a while that life is the greatest ritual of all and that this ritual should be spent with the selected few on which your eternal love is bestowed. Thus, everything that I now experience is detached from any ‘ISM’. It has my soul and my flavor attached to it, regardless of how compatible or incompatible it is with certain ideologies.

It is for this reason that I walked away from Occultism, Satanism and the Order of Nine Angles as a whole, focusing on spending time travelling, training as a martial artist and spending time with the ones I hold dear.

I am here, solely to share my fallible and humble conclusions and to let shine certain principles that have arisen in me over the years through the Sinister-Numinous and through the slow understanding of the conclusions found in the Post 2012 David Myatt writings and the letters exchanged with a mystical painter from the UK.

My online Journal, turned into a book can be visited here:

Beldam WordPress

My Author Page can be visited here to purchase my written work:

Beldam Author Page


The Melding of Opposites

Posted: June 8th, 2021 | Author: | Filed under: David Myatt, Order of Nine Angles, Richard Moult, The Sinisterly Numinous Tradition | Tags: , , , , , , | Comments Off on The Melding of Opposites

 

Excerpt from Thurhfaran:

“As I see things, beyond all the labels, the seeking of experiences, the grasping of and for “knowledge”, there is only the potential of quiet, numinous presencings, brought wyrdfully, and for the most part, out of our control.” -R.M. exchanged letters.

As I sat in silence in a glade, near the woods, enjoying a temporary break from reading Chrétien de Troyes; Tales of the Round Table and enjoying the first warm days of summer, I lost myself in dreaming and reliving certain moments of the past. Such moments became entwined with my dreams of leaving for the Canadian west, which shall be happening soon and In-between such memories, such hopes, both lived and unlived, it seemed to become all so apparent to me, all so clear. Not a revelation, enlightenment or an awakening but rather, a simple understanding of a life that passes, of something so temporary and seasonal. You can’t make sense of this life, you can only live it, experience it and let the years pass like a Ferris wheel. You may choose to dwell in abstractions and force a purpose, a mechanism, a framework on all those unknown variables that we are faced with during our lifetime but that comes with a cost. The cost is limitedness and often hubris, for we are arrogant beings, proud of our intellect, of our language, of our ideologies that we throne as absolutes and universal. They are not. They will be unable to solve the mysteries, to bring about the comfort of certitude.

They will fail you since they are imperfect creations of the mind, susceptible to movement as any other things are. Very few people know who they truly are beyond such creations, what moves them, what lingers in their heart, what is worth fighting for and isn’t, what truly matters to them and what they want for themselves. Instead, we try to convince ourselves that such creations are necessary and that they should supplant who and what we are. We become certain that this obsession with a political or religious avenue is legitimate, righteous and that it grants us a special authority to judge and impose our ways upon others. We become drunk with ideologies, addicted to theoretical frameworks that we try to make manifest in the world by sacrificing empathy, temperance and all the things that truly matters and requires no words. Such creations will pass over the course of life. They will become brittle and cracked until the day they shatter, just like ice melts at the end of winter. Abstractions are natural and perhaps, even necessary for a time to allow ourselves to explore, to go on a quest and come back, inwardly changed. They are the unavoidable offspring’s of our fallible and limited perception and mind. And yet, as I was sitting under the birch trees, enjoying the silence in the glade, I felt the dance of deliverance in me. Being in peace with abstractions does not mean that life ceases to have purposes or unicity.

On the contrary, it is a complete embracing of the very experience itself. It is an invitation to not mind life but live life. To love intensively, to travel the world, to connect with nature, to cherish all the moments spent with family and loved ones. To find who we are by perfecting a craft, by keeping our body healthy, by helping others in such inspirational pursuits so they can also find their own path. Not because it fits to an ideology or a religion but because it simply is what seems honorable, just and balanced within our heart. Life is the poem, the ritual and there is no true journey, no true beauty if such a journey, such an aching beauty can’t be shared with someone else. Whatever path we choose for ourselves, whatever we learn from adversity, there is no forgetting for me that love is the answer and that there is nothing like seeing the ensemble of our being, echo in someone else. Nothing like two souls remaining loyal for a lifetime and loving each other’s until the very end. Past that, there is only life passing like a dream would. There is no evolution, no synthesis, no titles or grades, no achievements or enlightenment. Just a gradual awareness, a learning from adversity, a tempered character that seeks to do right by others, to be balanced and refrain from falling prey to what is hubriatic and rotten. Just a being, momentarily partaking in this phenomenon that we call life for a time, a very short portion of time.

“It struck me then that this immersion in ‘the Light’ was exactly the process described by the stage of post Internal Adept/pre-Abyss – that this stage involved a synthesising of opposites which could lead either towards and beyond the Abyss to thus deepen one’s Sinister oath, or instead towards something else entirely – a deepening synthesis perhaps, one which was possibly unique to the individual, unconnected to any current. And for me, post Internal Adept … A leaving of Shropshire after myself and my ex-partner came to the conclusion that we could no longer be together. And then time spent in Hastings, followed by a most wyrdful move to Scotland; much travelling, much music – a time of seemingly growing away from the confines of my understanding of the Sinister Path, and evolving a natural ‘Way’ which expresses the totality which is me.
Looking back, and out of a respectful mindfulness for those caused suffering by some of the things I have aided, I hesitate to say I do not regret anything. However, one has to look inside one’s heart at the time, and I know that whatever stage I was at, my main motivation was (and is still) the quest for self-knowledge and to presence the numinous. As time progresses, life becomes simpler and focussed on what is personally important, and so there has been a gradual leaving of the outer trappings of the ‘Sinister’ and an arrival back to the shores of my music and painting. This has not been some tactic in order to attempt to achieve some sort of worldly artistic success: rather, it is a natural evolving towards my essential ‘destiny’, made possible by all my journeyings hitherto. Which is, after all, the point of any genuine esoteric way. I have never made any grand claims about myself: my creations for the Order are consequences of my experiences – if some people value them, fine; if some do not, also fine. As has been written so many times before by the Order, everything can and should be surpassed. Nor do I present my experiences as some sort of benchmark for other Sinister aspirants. They certainly are not, as these recallings surely demonstrate. This is just simply one modest, personal tale, for those who may be curious. ”

-R.M.

-Beldam