Irreversible Change

Posted: February 26th, 2022 | Author: | Filed under: Order of Nine Angles | Comments Off on Irreversible Change

 

.:. My friend Beast Xeno, a while ago told me that moving to a new environment changes you inside. I organically didn’t understand what he was prophesying.

I had spent all of my life in Southern California. And so, what person I was, was a product of that place, its urban environment. And then, my sister and Vanessa dragged me far away from Southern California to a tiny town in Rural Oregon, surrounded by pine forests, mountains of pine trees, giant rivers, bays and ocean on every side, fog covered hills.

I’ve been struggling inside since I moved out here. You really are a product of your environment. I’m no longer the person I was. I’ve lost the will/desire to write. My mind is primitive where it can only think of one thing, or two things at any time. My mind has only been focused and fixated on two things for the past year or so: 1) This new environment & 2) My wife Vanessa.

This amazingly beautiful environment has captured my soul and heart. I want to spend my time outdoors, hiking, amongst the trees, along the huge rivers. I have a hard time sitting still to write anything anymore. No time. Seems like the older you grow, the less time you have for things that once occupied your time and mind. Career. Married life. Thoughts/desires for near future children.

Writing Nexion Zine 8.1 was a huge struggle for me. Because I just simply lost the desire to write. It takes a long time for me to write stuff. I spent all that time inside Nature out here, exploring, traveling, and just spending time with people I love and with new friends.

I no longer want to write anything. Not even o9a stuff. I’m afraid that David Myatt had an deep influence on me over these past 13 years. But not in the way that an o9a person would expect.

David Myatt – his writings – have caused me to love my own Culture, and to better understand Buddhism. I love Buddhism and being a Buddhist. And I think my culture – as any human culture is – is beautiful.

And so, David Myatt, over this past decade  – his writings’ influence on me – has made me less of a Satanist and less o9a, and more of an Asian Buddhist.  I feel inside that I shouldn’t contaminate o9a with Asian or Buddhist stuff.

The environment and people out here, has made me into a happy, unhateful person. I can’t say with self-honesty that I uphold and truly believe in racism, violence, extremism.

Vanessa – or my love for her – has had the other major influence on me, on changing me inside.

Vanessa is a normal girl, a normal lesbian. She hates that I am associated with o9a. Because she dislikes racism and nazis [she’s Mexican]. She doesn’t like the idea of violence, and hurting people and animals. Like most normal lesbians, she is liberal; actually very liberal and left leaning. I hate to admit it but there is something more powerful than gods and religion and ideology: Pussy. I’ve been pussy whipped. Hey, at least I’m honest!

My new environment, and Vanessa’s constant insistence that I leave o9a and not associate with it anymore, has won.

And so, because I have changed as a person, having outgrown o9a [due mostly to David Myatt’s decade long influence on me to like my own culture and Buddhism], and because the Order of Nine Angles is not compatible with Vanessa, I will be Quitting o9a and will no longer be associated with it.

I make this public announcement at the insistent behest of Vanessa to make it “official” by publishing it here. And so, my formal official and public statement of renunciation:

[Begin Statement]

I, Chloe Ortega, of sound mind and body, upon this morning of the 26th of the Second month of the year 2022, of my own free will and accord, without duress or external pressure or whatever, do hereby dis-Associate myself from the Order of Nine Angles, on account that I no longer agree with the majority of its teachings, views, abstractions, and ideology. I also disown and renounce all of my past writings and texts I have written since 2007 on account that like any human being, I change and grow and constantly evolve mentally and spiritually, and that such past writings I have produced no longer honestly represent the person I have grown to be today.

[End Statement]

And so, I will be deleting everything I have written on this site later today. I won’t be continuing Nexion Zine, because all I would be writing about is Asian culture and Buddhism anyways. And so, I will be deleting Nexion Zine.

I wish ONA and those still associated with it luck. I will be going offline and into the real world, from whence I came.

I suppose in the end, as super cliche as it sounds, Love really does conquer all. You really don’t understand what that cliche means, until you have fallen deeply in love with someone, who deeply loves you back. It transcends ideology, politics, abstractions. My footsteps have always been guided by Divine Providence. It led me a while into ONA, to study David Myatt, who changed me as a person inside, changed how my brain works. And now Providence is leading me someplace else.

/Chloe 2.26.2022


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